Sunday, September 18, 2011

Now taking applications...

Heyyy ya'll!..Im back & this time around I'm covering lets just dive right into this blog post..


Okay soooo, this whole dating sh!t is honestly the most repetative thing we can do in life. You meet someone, text for a bit, talk on the phone, then go out a few times. If things go well you date & then move up to the bf/gf stage.

But let's talk about the process to get from dating to bf/gf. It is truly one of the most complex, confusing & puzzling processes in life. You pretty much sit & screen someone for months to see if they are compatible enough to your liking. Sad part is, most of the time the person ends up not being the one. It is truly now becoming a JOB to find a damn spouse...which leads to the point of this blog...


Me & my friend Nay have been saying FOR YEARS that single people should just carry a damn resume' with all their dating qualifications around with them. Imagine if, with reading just one persons dating resume' you could determine whether they should receive a "call back" from's just visit that idea for a moment.

The Dating Resume' outline would be as follows:

The Cover Letter
- Introducing yourself & the objective of your dating goals

-school history (we'll keep that

Job Experience/References
-The position you held (i.e.: Husband, Fiance',Boyfriend, Jumpoff, Crazy Ex)

- How many jobs you held (which really means..HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU BEEN WITH)

-How long they "held each position at their company" (which really means how long they dated each person). Years, months & dates would be a major factor. If they're holding 2 "jobs" at the same time...then in this case, that's a damn problem.

- What the person likes to do, hobbies, interests & activities they are involved in

- Skills would fall under any other talents the person may have such as cooking, cleaning, baking, speaking any other languages, insert all your fun fact tidbits here..etc.

*References will be available upon request* = which pretty much means if I do decide to give you a "call back" make sure I can contact your "references" to "verify employment". if you catch my drift.

Oh & also keep in mind that each resume' would also have a head shot photo attached too :)

Imagine if life was just that simple...On facebook instead of announcing to the world that your "single" all over everyones could just put "Now taking applications" as your dating status. Instead of harassing voicemails like "Yo, its ____, what is up wit you!?!..i texted you like 6 me back, im serious, CALL. ME. BACK......Bye!" left by a guy/girl you barely remember because you gave your number to them when you were to drunk to function in the club, you would receive voicemails that said, "Hi, this is _____. I'm just calling to follow up on the resume' I submitted in for the position as boyfriend/girlfriend last night. I'm very interested in this position & hope that we can set up an interview in the near future. Thank you." .........And for those that didnt make the cut, there's always the proper curve you can hit them with... "Hi, I'm sorry but the position has currently been filled..but if they're are any openings in the near future I will be sure to keep your resume' on file to take into consideration again :) "..LOL..

Now if the applicant DOES fit the qualifications you are looking for, then that's where they can be called in for their first "interview" = DATE. Where questions can be asked, such as the ones below:

-Have you had any previous experience in this field before?"
-"What are some things you would be able to bring to this table?"
-"What major challenges & problems did you face in your last relationship & how did you handle them?
-"Have you ever been arrested for a crime?"
-"What did you like, dislike about your past "employer" (gf/bf)?"

...and the most important question of all....

-"Why did you leave your last place of employement???"

From there you can determine whether they will be hired & go through Like at any job, the first 3 months of the relationship would be the "evaluation period". If they score all across the board, then "promotions" are sure to

Again guys this is all just fun & games...just a wacky idea me & my friends have discussed for years...
So many battles are fought & we've lost a lot of good minds out there in that battlefield called "dating". Just trying to preserve our mind, body & soul from all the fools out there that we are wasting our precious time on. Hope everyone out there can one day can say to someone, "YOU'RE HIRED!" & live happily ever

And do remember, there is someone always out there trying to come after YOUR position :)

Put in that work!
Love.Live.Life & Resume'

-Ruthie G.


Seize_Texas said...

Sooo true ruthless...ur gonna help me with my book.....

Anonymous said...

I love this concept!

Anonymous said...

great post! really enjoyed it.

Anonymous said...

where can i submit a resume? Very interested in submitting A resuMe unless the pOSition has been filled (read the CAPITALIZED letters above)

Matthew "M-Eazy" Hibbert said...

Nice post, but what about the people that embellish on "resumes"? And do you really want someone calling you about your ex? If you are a crazy ex that has been dumped but still has hope are you going to give a good reference? NO ... hey in a perfect world maybe or Venus cause that is where ladies are from. Right!?!

Bridal Shorts said...

you said it! lol, loved the post girl, I really enjoyed reading it!

Anonymous said...

Ruthie you are something else! I love this ... Brilliant idea