1 Missed Call

You know what irks me?...




GUYS WHO CANT CALL & TEXT PROPERLY...


Those abbreviated/3 word MAX text mssgs you boys just LOVE to send to us females HAVE GOT TO STOP...

Have no clue what im talking about?...well here then, let me show you an example:

boy: "hey beautiful"
girl: "heyyy, how are you?"
boy: "ok..u?"
girl: "im good, cant complain...what you been up to?"
boy: "nuttin..wyd?"
girl: "nuthin just got out of work..so happy to be out...you?"
boy: "word, me 2"
girl: "how was work?"
boy: "same ol same"


:: cricket noises ::


THAT RIGHT THERE, IS WHEN I STOP TEXTING BACK.

I was minding my own DAAAAMN business (kevin hart voice..lol)going about my daily life, when you and your bland ass text messages decided to frustrate my day. YOU texted ME, yet im carrying the conversation and you're replying in one syllable words. Why did you even text me??..I didnt sign up for this conversation. If you are a male, 25 yrs & older and can not formulate a full blown sentence and/or carry a conversation, then our future is doomed. Matter fact, its pretty much non-existant. Endangered, before it became a species, status. If you're that boring over text and then claim that you dont like to talk on the phone because you're not a "phone person", then what makes you think that this is going to work?

Secondly, lets talk about the ones who take FOREVER to text/call back ....you all are just plain ol' mean.... Do ya'll even realize the amount of anxiety that builds up with every minute we havent heard from you. In a 20 minute time span the average person probably looks at their phone like 829 times just waiting for that incoming call/text. In some severe cases, there are times where we may go a day or two without hearing from our other after sending them a text. Now that is when ish gets really real and what I like to call...."The 4 Stage Struggle" hits. Which might sound REAL familiar to some of you..lol...

THE 4 STAGE STRUGGLE::
1.) Anxiousness- constantly checking the phone
2.) Anger- "wtf is taking him so long?!?"
3.) Fear- "omg i hope he's okay, what if something happend to him?"
4.) Anger (again)- "OHHH WOOOOWWW!...that n!gga was just on facebook...yea im done with him"

and then FINALLY the text we have been patiently waiting for arrives...

boy: "hey beautiful..whats up, i miss you.. what you doing tonight?"
girl: "heyyy :) ..i miss you too..im not sure yet...most likely just stay in" --( notice how she's not mad anymore..lol)

...........3 LONG HOURS LATER.......................

boy: "o ok..i feel u"

.......................*&%$%^$*&#* !!!! ....REEEEAAAALLY?!?!........I JUST WAITED ALLLLLL THAT TIME FOR THE PHONE LIGHT TO BLINK RED (because i was really hoping you would ask me to chill)..FOR 5 DAMN WORDS!! ...Now, not only am I aggrivated that you took forever to answer back, I'm also confused because I dont know what the hell to write back to your dead end response. Chances are im not gonna say anything & imma just go be mad somewhere..lol

Dont get me wrong..I can be "understanding". Maybe you were busy helping your sister with her car problem or watching your neices & nephews or doing something real wholesome and sh*t......or maybe you just plain suck at texting. Whatever the case may be, dialogue needs to happen in real life 2011. With texting, bbm, twitter & facebook ruling the world, people are truly forgetting how to speak & engage in conversations. That, along side consistency , make up the most important parts of the relationship, yet those elements tend to be over looked almost all of the time. Guys, all we're pretty much asking is for you to pick up the phone & just have a conversation with your lady...thats it. A phone call is not a marriage liscense so stop being so prideful...ladies you too!

And while we're on the subject of phone etiquette, fellas please try not to call us with the music blasting in the background while your driving either. Its bad enough that you sound like your in a damn wind tunnel because you have us on speaker phone while your on the highway. But now I have to sit there & try to figure out what hell your saying with "Imma Boss" blaring in the background. That whole move is real 2003'ish

For those that really dont do the full blown text mssg convos...a cute text saying "just wanted to let you kno you were on my mind" will do the trick....FOR NOW. But it'll only hold her over for about a day or two. Now dont get me wrong, Im not saying call each other every SINGLE day but keep it practical. But if you like each other it honestly shouldn't even matter who calls who, how many times, just as long as communication is relevant.

So pick up the phone & get them teenage butterflies in your stomach going & cheese hard as hell when you get that phone call from your special boo :)




Until next time my beautiful SMS texting people...

Call Me,

-Ruthie G.

Now taking applications...

Heyyy ya'll!..Im back & this time around I'm covering EVERYTHING..lol...so lets just dive right into this blog post..




DATING.....

Okay soooo, this whole dating sh!t is honestly the most repetative thing we can do in life. You meet someone, text for a bit, talk on the phone, then go out a few times. If things go well you date & then move up to the bf/gf stage.

But let's talk about the process to get from dating to bf/gf. It is truly one of the most complex, confusing & puzzling processes in life. You pretty much sit & screen someone for months to see if they are compatible enough to your liking. Sad part is, most of the time the person ends up not being the one. It is truly now becoming a JOB to find a damn spouse...which leads to the point of this blog...

WHAT IF DATING WAS LIKE APPLYING FOR A JOB?

Me & my friend Nay have been saying FOR YEARS that single people should just carry a damn resume' with all their dating qualifications around with them. Imagine if, with reading just one persons dating resume' you could determine whether they should receive a "call back" from you..lol..Let's just visit that idea for a moment.

The Dating Resume' outline would be as follows:

The Cover Letter
- Introducing yourself & the objective of your dating goals

Education
-school history (we'll keep that simple..lol)

Job Experience/References
-The position you held (i.e.: Husband, Fiance',Boyfriend, Jumpoff, Crazy Ex)

- How many jobs you held (which really means..HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU BEEN WITH)

-How long they "held each position at their company" (which really means how long they dated each person). Years, months & dates would be a major factor. If they're holding 2 "jobs" at the same time...then in this case, that's a damn problem.


Qualifications/Skills
- What the person likes to do, hobbies, interests & activities they are involved in

- Skills would fall under any other talents the person may have such as cooking, cleaning, baking, speaking any other languages, insert all your fun fact tidbits here..etc.


*References will be available upon request* = which pretty much means if I do decide to give you a "call back" make sure I can contact your "references" to "verify employment". if you catch my drift.

Oh & also keep in mind that each resume' would also have a head shot photo attached too :)



Imagine if life was just that simple...On facebook instead of announcing to the world that your "single" all over everyones newsfeed..you could just put "Now taking applications" as your dating status. Instead of harassing voicemails like "Yo, its ____, what is up wit you!?!..i texted you like 6 times..wtf...call me back, im serious, CALL. ME. BACK......Bye!" left by a guy/girl you barely remember because you gave your number to them when you were to drunk to function in the club, you would receive voicemails that said, "Hi, this is _____. I'm just calling to follow up on the resume' I submitted in for the position as boyfriend/girlfriend last night. I'm very interested in this position & hope that we can set up an interview in the near future. Thank you." .........And for those that didnt make the cut, there's always the proper curve you can hit them with... "Hi, I'm sorry but the position has currently been filled..but if they're are any openings in the near future I will be sure to keep your resume' on file to take into consideration again :) "..LOL..

Now if the applicant DOES fit the qualifications you are looking for, then that's where they can be called in for their first "interview" = DATE. Where questions can be asked, such as the ones below:

-Have you had any previous experience in this field before?"
-"What are some things you would be able to bring to this table?"
-"What major challenges & problems did you face in your last relationship & how did you handle them?
-"Have you ever been arrested for a crime?"
-"What did you like, dislike about your past "employer" (gf/bf)?"

...and the most important question of all....

-"Why did you leave your last place of employement???"


From there you can determine whether they will be hired & go through training..lol. Like at any job, the first 3 months of the relationship would be the "evaluation period". If they score all across the board, then "promotions" are sure to follow..lol


Again guys this is all just fun & games...just a wacky idea me & my friends have discussed for years...
So many battles are fought & we've lost a lot of good minds out there in that battlefield called "dating". Just trying to preserve our mind, body & soul from all the fools out there that we are wasting our precious time on. Hope everyone out there can one day can say to someone, "YOU'RE HIRED!" & live happily ever after..lol




And do remember, there is someone always out there trying to come after YOUR position :)

Put in that work!
Love.Live.Life & Resume's..lol

-Ruthie G.